3 Sleep Training Mistakes I Made (So You Don’t Have To)

Today, I want to get real with you about three BIG sleep training mistakes I made when I was teaching my firstborn, Lily, how to sleep independently. This was before I became a certified baby sleep consultant—but after I’d already gone deep into the world of baby sleep training. I was 10 baby sleep books in, thinking I had it all figured out.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

And if you're here, chances are you're somewhere on your own sleep journey—feeling overwhelmed, second-guessing every nap, or Googling "how to sleep train a baby without crying." I’ve been there. So, let’s dive into the things I wish I’d known earlier—because if I can save you from making the same sleep training pitfalls, I’ll consider that a win.

Mistake #1: Obsessing Over Exactness

I’ll be honest—I was OBSESSED with getting everything “just right.” I tracked wake windows down to the second, analyzed every single sleepy cue, and panicked if I was even three minutes too early or too late for a nap.

I genuinely believed that if I didn’t follow the “rules” of how to sleep train a baby perfectly, I’d ruin the entire day. That mindset didn’t help—it stressed me out, and that stress rubbed off on Lily.

Babies are emotional sponges. They absorb the energy we bring into a room. That tension created a cycle where sleep became harder, not easier. I’d built a cage of control instead of cultivating calm.

What I’ve learned since becoming a baby sleep coach? Routines are a guide, not gospel. Flexibility, connection, and tuning into your instincts matter just as much as any sleep schedule or sleep training method.

If you're feeling stuck in a rigid routine that’s making you anxious, pause. Take a breath. You’re allowed to adjust based on your baby and your day.

Mistake #2: Fear of Messing It All Up

Once we started making progress, I became terrified of going backwards. I thought a single bad night, a round of teething, a holiday, or a growth spurt would unravel all our progress.

That fear made me anxious—like I was constantly holding my breath. It stole the joy from snuggly mornings and milestones, because I was always bracing for sleep regression doom.

But here’s what I wish someone had told me: setbacks are part of the process. Sleep regressions, illness, teething—they’re normal. Your baby isn't broken. You're not failing. A few tough nights don’t undo all your hard work.

Baby sleep training isn't a linear path—it’s more of a zig-zag.
And that’s okay.

If you're in a rough patch right now, you haven’t ruined your baby’s sleep. You’re learning. You’re showing up. And you’ve got tools to come back stronger.

Mistake #3: Thinking the Sleep Training Method Was Everything

I used to believe the method—whether it was Ferber, chair method, or cry-it-out—was the magic fix. I thought if I picked the “right” baby sleep training method, everything would fall into place.

But the truth is: the method is only one piece of the puzzle.

Without a solid sleep foundation, even the best sleep training method won’t stick. Sustainable sleep habits come from intentional preparation—things like consistent bedtime routines, the right sleep environment, and understanding your baby’s temperament and cues.

That’s why, inside my Baby Sleep Course, I don’t just walk you through one method. I help you build the strong, responsive foundations that make any method more effective. It's not about following a script—it's about setting your baby up for success in a way that fits your parenting style.

And if you’re still in the newborn stage, you don’t need to sleep train at all. My Newborn Sleep Course helps you gently lay the groundwork for great sleep from the very beginning—no crying involved.

What I Want You to Remember

Looking back, I’m thankful for these mistakes. They helped me grow as a parent, and they shaped how I now support families inside my courses and consults.

Here’s what I want you to take away from this:

• Sleep training doesn’t have to be perfect to work.

• Setbacks are normal—and they’re not the end.

• The right method matters, but it’s the foundation that makes the magic happen.

Be kind to yourself. Trust your instincts. And remember, sleep is a journey—not a checklist.

You’ve got this.

And if this post helped, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. DM me on Instagram anytime over at @cozybabysleep—I’m always cheering you on xx