Can Independent Sleep Really Be Taught?!Dec 21, 2022
Whenever I do a Q+A over on Instagram (usually weekly or more) this is something that comes up in the questions often.
There is A LOT of noise out there on the internet and social media about baby sleep and sleep training/teaching/coaching (or whatever you call it). Some are reaalllly for it, some are really against it.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know I believe it’s up to every family to decide if sleep teaching is for them, and also what methods to use.
Sleep teaching isn’t one size fits all, and it’s not just crying it out!
If you’re new here, make sure you read my “What is Sleep Training” blog here to understand more about the different types of sleep teaching options for babies and toddlers.
Anyways, so back to this million dollar question…
Can sleep REALLY be taught?!
Well, I like to be sensitive with my answer because I know sleep “training” can be a hot topic and people have a lot of opinions.
The short answer: Yes.
You, of course, can teach independent sleep. I’ve done it myself with my children, and I've seen it with thousands of families inside my baby sleep resources. With that said, there is definitely no "one size fits all" when it comes to sleep teaching (sleep coaching, sleep training, etc.)
There are lots of different methods that work well because there are many different kinds of families and variations in parenting styles. We all thrive differently in parenthood!
Do you HAVE to teach your baby to fall asleep independently (without rocking, feeding etc.)!?
No way! It’s a personal choice.
Sleep teaching is not for everyone and I respect that. But PLEASE if you take ANYTHING from me in this message, let it be this: Do not be intimidated by these accounts fearing and shaming families for sleep teaching/training. Because that is exactly what it is… fear mongering.
It is judgemental and so harmful to a parent’s mental health to do this. And it forgets the equally important person in the parent/child relationship.
YOU MATTER!! You (and me, I’m a mother of two) cannot be your best self when you are woken every hour of the night (or even just a couple of times, although this is necessary for a few months. You can learn more about night wakings, feedings, and realistic expectations here).
Yes - There are other options such as bed-sharing. And if that option is for you, then you should do that for sure (albeit safely).
But my page, my website, and my resources are for those who are struggling with their baby or child’s sleep but they don’t thrive with bed-sharing. They are looking for another solution other than bed-sharing OR waking up all night OR doing a strict “cry it out” method. There is a lot of middle ground there and that is what I’m here for. To share that middle ground and walk you through it.
Finally, you are amazing. You are a good parent. Your baby is lucky to have you. There is no better parent for your baby than YOU.
You are not a bad parent for wanting to sleep.
You are not a bad parent for wanting your baby to sleep more.
You don’t have to take this "all or nothing" approach!
Want to get started? That’s where I come in!
The first thing you want to do is make a clear plan. If you’re really struggling & need support along with a clear step by step plan… I've got you covered!
If your baby is under 3 months old
If your baby is 4-14 months old
If your little one is 19 months +
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